You’re an adult now, you’re officially grown. From this point forward, all you hear is “Have it all figured out!” and “Know your plan!” The pressure of being a teenager turns into the pressure of being an adult, of being successful. No one truly knows what their life will look like in the next 40 years; most search for themselves for a lot of that time. At 18, you don’t know yourself, who you were called to be, who you want to be.
In kindergarten, you’re told to draw your future, your goals, your dream job. In fifth grade, you’re told to write a paper on where you’ll be in 10 years, what college you’ll go to. For some that’s the plan they follow, the plan they were told or encouraged to pursue. Freshman year of High School, you get asked, “What do you want to be?” or “What’s your plan?” It’s not fun pictures and silly writing prompts anymore. There’s one particular question that gets thrown around every year, without fail: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” At 10, it’s cute. At 14, it gets serious. At 18, it’s the deadline. Everything depends on your answer to that question. You’re expected to know your ideal career, major, college or trade school, have goals, and even know where you NEED to be in five years. The brain’s prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for long term planning and goal setting, doesn’t fully develop until 25. Why are 18-year-olds expected to have all the answers? Society treats 18 like a deadline, like the start of everything.
Your identity isn’t fixed at 18. You’re expected to know exactly who you are, what you want. What isn’t communicated is that identity is built by experiences and work, not prediction. You haven’t lived independently, worked multiple jobs, been introduced to multiple industries, met new people who influence you, and experienced enough failure to refine direction and belonging. How can you choose your life, lay it out, if you haven’t even lived enough to know yourself? 18 isn’t the final destination, it’s not the deadline, or the final version. It’s the beginning of something truly breathtaking.
If you’re in college or just 18, you’re not behind. You’re not late, not lost. You’re not the only one panicking while everyone around is calm and happy. You don’t truly know what goes on in someone’s brain or inner circle. It might feel like everyone has a written plan, a life they are working towards, a dream and that’s true, everyone has dreams. You might think and think that it’s just you, constantly refreshing your email and college portals, changing your major, changing your path. Asking yourself, “What if I choose wrong?” Most people are struggling with the same battles.
Uncertainty isn’t a flaw; it shows that you care. It means you understand the gravity of your future, and you want to be successful. You’re at the very beginning of your adult life, you won’t have all the answers. You’re allowed to change your mind, have your old dreams evolve, discover new interests, and take paths that don’t look impressive on paper. You don’t have it all figured out because you don’t have to. You are not behind. You are evolving and becoming, and that simply is a beautiful thing worth recognizing.
Edited and Reviewed by Kien Powell