Grief, in itself, is a difficult thing to deal with. It was a windy January day when I learned that my grandfather passed away. I had initially gotten the phone call from my dad while I was still in class. I didn’t answer. I knew exactly what he was going to say. We’d been expecting it for weeks. Despite expecting his passing due to his rapid decline in health, it didn’t make the blow any less debilitating. When class ended, and I called my dad back, it felt like the world had stopped moving momentarily. I didn’t know how to cope with the loss. Any other time I’d lost a family member, I was too young to remember it. This was the first time in my life that I was experiencing grief.

In lieu of letting grief encapsulate my life and overtake me, I knew that I had to work through it. The classes go on, your job still expects you to show up, and you still need to write that paper due at midnight. Grief is indeed a hard thing, but it doesn’t have to take over your life. 

Before coming to university, my favorite thing about high school was the routine. I liked waking up every day at the same time, going to the same classes at the same place with the same people. It was secure, safe, and promising. However, that’s what’s different about college. You are in charge of your own schedule. Attendance is highly encouraged, but you’re an adult, and you pay for the classes, so skip if you want to. Going through something such as the loss of a close family member while also being expected to continue with your classes every day as if nothing had happened seems almost impossible. 

While it may seem like the world may end if you miss class, it won’t. Don’t make it a habit, of course, but there are a few ways you can proceed through grief a little better while still managing your courseload. 

Skip Class:

Not every class. Not daily. Not on the day of your final exam. But just one or two. Let your professor know what’s going on and give yourself time to process what’s going on in your own life without the stress of listening to a 75-minute lecture. 

Be with Loved Ones:

Take time with those who care about you. Allow yourself to let down your walls and breathe. 

Practice Self-Care:

Don’t let yourself stay in bed all day. Take care of yourself. Drink water.

Keep a Routine:

If you aren’t feeling up for class, that’s fine too. Just keep yourself in a comfortable routine so you don’t fall out of the loop too much. Wake up on time, eat something, shower, go for a walk, etc.

While grief can be manageable, you don’t always need to go through it alone. Connecting with friends and loved ones is one of the best things for your mental health.