Written by Hailey

One thing I have always struggled with is being truly happy. I’ve always had moments of brief joy, days where I don’t feel sad, but never true happiness. I always thought it was due to how my life never went right, whether it was a bad grade, someone being mean to me, or just out of anxiety. I went through a period of my life that I thought I was just meant to be a sad person. When I had this mindset, I was not the person I am today. I was mean, I treated others how I felt about myself.

I’m not proud of it, but to truly better yourself, you must reflect on all aspects. I eventually realized one crucial thing, which was the leading cause of my unhappy and beneficial lifestyle. I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t kind. I wasn’t kind to myself and others.

When we are growing up, we are taught one crucial rule, one that many forget. The Golden Rule is so simple and can easily be implemented into our lives. For those who don’t know or remember, the Golden Rule is to treat others how you, yourself, would like to be treated. For the longest time, I forgot about this. I wasn’t kind to the people around me. This ultimately reflected how others viewed me and how I viewed myself. I wish I had someone to tell me how big an impact it can be on your life when you aren’t kind, but I had to learn by myself. My goal is for those struggling to learn this lesson sooner rather than later.

I will start by saying that everyone struggles, and that’s okay. However, if you don’t try to get better, you’ll always be stuck in that loop of unhappiness. To begin the process of becoming an authentic version of yourself, take some time to evaluate your life. Go back to the situations you felt were the worst part of your life or the argument you had with a friend. Examine every aspect where you felt that it wasn’t you, but the universe. Could you handle that situation differently? Could you have been more understanding that maybe they were going through something as well? Could you have been more kind?

Envision yourself back in those times you struggled, but imagine you smiled, giving some light to the situation. Kindness comes in all forms; words, and actions, both hold power. Start each day by smiling at someone, whether it is a friend, professor, or stranger. A small gesture of kindness goes a long way. When you give kindness to the world, it gives it back.

It may not be that exact moment or even day, but it will return. Once I began smiling more, to my friends, strangers, and coworkers, I began to notice how more natural it became. That kindness inside me gave me that happiness I was missing. Now smiling isn’t a solution to all your problems, but it is one hell of a start.

There will be times in the future when smiling won’t bring that happiness you are searching for. During those hard times, when you feel yourself feeling down and that negative mindset begins to kick in, search for the bright side of the situation.

When looking for something positive to focus on, it could be anything. You’re late to class because of the line at Starbucks? At least you have that coffee kickstart for the day. Did you submit an assignment late and lose some points? At least you did it, so give yourself a pat on the back. Thoughts like these are also examples of being kind to yourself.

When looking for happiness, starting small is easier, especially when you’re having a really hard time. Start by learning what you could do better for yourself, and what you have to be happy about already. Smile at your friends, family, coworkers, and strangers.

Your kindness holds more power than you think you could give someone the happiness they’re looking for. When you give enough kindness, that happiness sinks right in. After all, to be happy is to be kind.