Written by Maeve
The Tortured Poets Department came last year, and it completely revolutionized my playlist. I had always been a fan of Taylor Swift’s music, but this album made her my favorite artist of all time. As any Swiftie does, I ranked her album after my first several listens. I ranked it as follows:
- I Can Do It With A Broken Heart
- So Long, London
- But Daddy I Love Him
- Fresh Out The Slammer
- My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
- Clara Bow
- The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
- Down Bad
- loml
- Who’s Afraid of Little Ole Me
- I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
- Fortnight
- Florida!!!
- The Tortured Poets Department
- The Alchemy
- Guilty As Sin?
This album feels illegal to rank looking back. I did it so seamlessly when I first listened, but now, as I rank it roughly 6 months later, I struggle to do so. The list that follows is my attempt at ranking what I believe to be one of the best albums of all time. I have quoted a lyric from each song, which is my favorite. If you are a Swiftie, please reach out to me with your own opinions. If you are not, give this album a listen; it is perfect for poetry lovers. I feel like poetry provides humanity with a purpose, so this album is a representation of humanity itself.
1. Guilty As Sin? – “What if the way you hold me is actually what’s holy?” I cannot believe I
ranked this last?? This song has seen me through some very interesting times to say the least.
Taylor’s yearning and desire in this song gets me every time.
2. Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? – “You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.” Taylor’s portrayal of being victimized and villainized by the same circumstances is so poetic. She cooked here.
3. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived – “And I don’t even want you back I just want to know If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal” “Cause it wasn’t sexy once it wasn’t forbidden” “I would have died for your sins instead I just died inside” This one crushes me each time.
4. The Alchemy – “Where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me.” I want this to happen to
me so bad.
5. Down Bad – “How dare you think it’s romantic leaving me safe and stranded.”
6. So Long, London – “You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?”
7. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys – “And I’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me”
“Once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me.”
7. Fortnight – “I love you, it’s ruining my life.”
8. The Tortured Poets Department – “But I’ve seen this episode and still love the show.”
9. Fresh Out the Slammer – “But it’s gonna be alright, I did my time” Taylor comparing dating a
10. man to a prison sentence is the most real thing I’ve ever heard.
11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) – “woah maybe I can’t” I have been there way too many times
guys.
12. But Daddy I Love Him – “I just learned these people only raise you, to cage you.” “I’ll tell you
something ‘bout my good name, it’s mine alone to disgrace” I’m from a small town, so this one
hits different.
13. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart – “He said he’d love me all his life, but that life was too short”
14. Clara Bow – “It’s hell on earth to be heavenly.”
15. Florida!!! – “Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in.”
16. Loml – “It was legendary. It was momentary. It was unnecessary.”