Written by Juliana Hill

Stop trying to force a relationship with me just to get over her— I’m not her. You always knew you were meant to be with someone good, someone kind, someone who loved you through everything. Yet, you kept chasing the one who made you feel unloved, the one who didn’t want you. But if you take a step back, you’ll see that’s exactly what you did to me. You made me feel unloved, unwanted.

You’re still chasing her. You search for her in every moment, while I’m left mourning the ghost of who you were. You say you want to fix things, but deep down, you know you can’t. So you come running back to me—the person you believe will always be here because I promised never to give up on you. I promised to be there, just as you once promised me forever. But here we are, and forever ended yesterday.

I feel guilty for not answering your calls, and for ignoring your desperate texts. I feel like I’m breaking my promise. But am I wrong for finally choosing myself? Let me ask you—whatever happened to “I’ll be there for you forever”? It’s strange how forever seemed so solid until it slipped through our fingers.

Stop interrupting my peace for your fleeting happiness. Stop taking everything from me. You knew you should’ve been with me, but in the end, I’m not mad about it anymore. I’m not even worried. Because the truth is, you never really saw me. You never recognized my worth.

You keep chasing the familiarity of your past, the emotional toxicity you’ve grown used to, even though it hurts you. You don’t deserve that kind of pain, but maybe your heart has become too torn to experience something good. But I can’t love someone who’s still in love with someone else.

So, going forward, I hope you unlove every ghost of your past before you dare to “love” again. I
will never hate you. I’ll always have love for you. But I will never put myself in a place to love you again. You took my love and discarded it like it meant nothing, and I deserve so much more than that.

If we ever cross paths again, I hope you’ll realize that I got everything I deserved. I hope you heal. I hope you find the strength to experience a love that is pure. And above all, I hope you finally understand your worth. She doesn’t love you, I did. I hope you find someone who can love you greatly, and I’m sorry I wasn’t her.

Always in love,
The girl that should’ve been